This 1990 action film is an underrated piece of festive lunacy with an extremely fun if slightly overcomplicated plot, but there are a lot of stunts and explosions to smooth things over. If you doubt its festive credentials, the opening scene involves a guy crashing his car into a Christmas tree lot. You can’t get more Christmassy than that.
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
IMDB: Dark Angel aka I Come In Peace
Lucy Moderatz (Sandra Bullock) works as a token collector for the Chicago L train. Having lost her father the previous year, and with no family to speak of, she agrees to work over Christmas. Lucy has a crush on Peter (Peter Gallagher), a handsome commuter, who passes her kiosk every day in a whirlwind of perfect hair and 90s post-yuppie business attire.
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
IMDB: While You Were Sleeping
Face/Off sees John Travolta as FBI agent Sean Archer, who is tracking the notorious terrorist Castor Troy, played by Nicolas Cage. But when Troy tries to kill him and kills Archer’s son instead, Archer becomes consumed by revenge. Six years later, he catches up to Castor and in the ensuing chaos puts him in a coma. But Castor has planted a huge bomb in downtown LA and the only possible way for Archer to discover the location … is, of course, face transplant surgery.
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
IMDB: Face/Off
Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving first came to life as one of the fake trailers in Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s ill-fated Grindhouse experiment. Now supersized as a feature in its own right, Thanksgiving is a seasonal slasher that pits a masked, axe-wielding maniac against a group of college kids and assorted townsfolk.Read the full review at Screen Realm:
https://screenrealm.com/thanksgiving-movie-review-2023-horror/
IMDB: Thanksgiving
When HP Lovecraft sat down at his desk to write his short story From Beyond, did he picture, in his mind’s eye, Ken Foree in his underpants battling a giant worm, Barbara Crampton being attacked by a swarm of carnivorous flies, or Jeffrey Combs ravenously munching on a human brain? It’s fair to assume he probably didn’t, but director Stuart Gordon did and that’s precisely why the 1986 film From Beyond is a deranged, no-holds-barred body horror masterpiece.
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
IMDB: From Beyond
It's been a while since I wrote and posted a short story, so here's one I wrote back in July for the Australian Writers' Centre Furious Fiction contest. It's an experiment with a different style. Terse, serious, not my usual smart-arse approach. I took an immediate dislike to the contest's prompts. I felt like it was leading submissions down a mawkish, sentimental path. So it inspired me to push hard in the opposite direction and as far away from a contrived, saccharine childhood memory as it would take me. The idea came quickly, easily and somewhat belligerently, as they sometimes do, and I enjoyed writing this one a heck of a lot. With the right idea percolating, this is a style and an approach I'm keen to revisit.
In addition to the 500 word maximum and a three day window to write it, the criteria were:
Father fell in a puddle of red and grey and did not get up. The Bearded Men carried the tatters of him home. The People stood aside and bowed their heads as they brought him through the Great Gate and up Wisdom Hill to the Keep.
Mother cried out when she saw them approach. She said she had seen it in the stones. She closed her doors and went to sleep that night and did not wake up. There was noise and screaming and the Bearded Men looked at me and spoke in loud voices to one another. They said it was IMPOSSIBLE. They said there was no other choice.
I stood upon the ancient, granite cliff top with a BUMPER of ale in hand, the copper taste of fox blood in my throat, as archers set my parents’ bones aflame. Their ash as one with our ancestral seas.
The Bearded Men said Mother and Father had been called to God but I did not hear God speak. The Bearded Men set a crown upon my head. They said it was my PRIZE of birth. The Bearded Men said I must rule, as Father. They said it was God’s decree but I did not hear God speak.
The Bearded Men said our enemies in the north would come, and come they did. They saw our land as soft and ripe for picking, as summer fruit. I sat in the Round Hall with the Bearded Men. A fire burned in the hearth. Acrid smoke pillared to the heavens, as my parents’ funeral pyre. With tears in their eyes they asked me if I chose acquiescence. But if I was to rule, as Father, I chose war.
The enemy raided our lands with savage incursions on our sacred earth. But the People were steadfast and repelled them with hatred. They could not be broken. For every step the enemy gained, they lost one in return. The war years were of attrition.
After five cycles, our neighbours to the East brokered an accord. I stood in a tent with our enemy. A ferocious man who wore the skulls of his own sons as trophies. A terrible man who made his generals quake. A blind man who called me child. I drove a knife into his throat. They did not expect this from one so young. And when I ate my enemy’s heart I was a boy no more.
My enemy’s commanders fled. I usurped their lands as my domain. From mountain peak to valley floor, there was prosperity. The People received me in rapture. The Bearded Men praised the Will of God. But still I did not hear God speak.
Perhaps I am God?
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
IMDB: Primal
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
IMDB: Safe
Next week marks the 54th anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission, which makes it a great time to catch up with Apollo 10½. Richard Linklater’s semi-autobiographical animation invites us to experience growing up in the 1960’s, with humankind on the verge of landing on the moon. It’s part memoir, part fantasy and a complete and absolute joy to watch.The year is 1969 and we are introduced to 10-year-old Stan (played by Milo Coy and later by Jack Black) at his school in Houston, Texas. During break, Stan is approached by two men from Nasa, Krantz (Zachary Levi) and Bostick (Glen Powell), who request his assistance with a secret mission. Due to a miscalculation, the lunar module has been built too small to accommodate the astronauts and Nasa now needs a kid-sized pilot to blast into space and deposit the lunar lander on the surface of the moon.
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
IMDB: Apollo 10 1⁄2: A Space Age Childhood
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
This gripping and nerve-twisting crime thriller from the writer-director John Patton Ford is packed with nervous energy and spiralling misfortune, moving at a relentless pace all the while taking potshots at the gig economy, student debt and the justice system.Emily (Aubrey Plaza) is struggling under the pressure of unmanageable debt repayments. She works casually for a catering company, delivering and setting up food for corporate events and offices. She has an assault charge in her history, which continually prevents her from securing any permanent employment.
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
IMDB: Emily The Criminal
Infinity Pool is the third feature from writer / director Brandon Cronenberg, and as you might expect if you’re a fan of either Cronenberg Jr or Snr, it is an imaginative science fiction / horror hybrid that asks some interesting questions around the nature of wealth, privilege and accountability.Struggling author James (Alexander Skarsgård) and his wife Em (Cleopatra Coleman) are holidaying in the fictional country of Li Tolqa. Staying in a high end resort, shielded and fenced off from the local populace, they befriend another couple, Gabi (Mia Goth) and Alban (Jalil Lester’s) and sneak out of the resort to enjoy a drunken day at the beach. On their way home, a local man is struck and killed by their car. Panicking, they flee the scene.
Read the full review at Screen Realm:
https://screenrealm.com/infinity-pool-movie-review/
IMDB: Infinity Pool
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
IMDB: Possessor
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
IMDB: Language Lessons
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
IMDB: Underwater
Read the full article at The Guardian Australia:
IMDB: Hell Or High Water
(alternate poster below, by Ignacio RC)
In no particular order, these are my top records and reissues from 2022, about half of which are actually from 2021 and I was just a bit slow off the starting blocks to include last year.
Best Records of 2022
The final Gauze record got a vinyl release this year and while my favourite material is still the fourth LP, this is still a fitting note for them to end things on. Fast, utterly raging, and all over before you realise what just happened. What a band.
The Algara lp was well worthy of all the praise I was hearing, Unidad Idealogica LP was a ferocious blast of fast Colombian punk and the burly aggro of Stingray and catchy synth melodies of Home Front meant those records did not leave my turntable for months.
Spectral Wound’s A Diabolic Thirst LP was feral blast of raw, frosty Canadian black metal, but was impossible get ahold of in 2021. It took me until the middle of this year to locate a copy of the repress. Meanwhile Adelaide’s Mournful Congregation served up some huge chunks of melancholy funeral doom that hit the mark nicely. Perth doom/drone outfit Drowning Horse returned with their Meghalayan 12” which was a nice heavy, slow surprise as I assumed they had called it quits. Saw them play with Space Bong several years ago and they were great.
The Flex’s Chewing Gum For The Ears LP was a swift dose of fast, ripping hardcore that was just what I needed, while Speed’s Gang Called Speed 12” brought back memories of early Knuckledust or Set it Off-era Madball - despite (or should that be IN spite of) their ludicrous videos showing off their boxing moves.
The backslide into metal was completed by Vacuous’s vicious new lp, Dreams Of Dysphoria, and their Katabasis 12” which I discovered earlier in the year and lucked out when I discovered an Australian distro was still carrying it. Despite being from 2021, the festering, atmospheric death metal of Slime Lord’s Moss Contamination lp and Mortuary Spawn’s, Spawned From The Mortuary, got their vinyl debuts this year. I picked up both when we went home in June.
Finally, on the electronic / synthwave side of things, Deadly Avenger released the excellent Polybius lp,under the somewhat confusing alias of Sinnesloschen Inc, and seemingly inspired by Poltergeist and TRON and a strange urban legend.
Reissues
On the reissue front, Dischord’s anniversary box set that reproduced the first six 7”s released by the label (plus a bonus record) was an incredible release and probably my favourite out of everything I picked up this year. Third Man’s expanded, deluxe box set treatment of Sleep’s seminal Dopesmoker record was too good to pass up and makes a nice companion to my first press on Tee Pee. T.H.E Rutto from Finland had their two classic 7”s reissued and they made for an excellent upgrade from the bootleg I’ve had for years. I remember being at the Grosvenor with Ralf and Darren when Paco described T.H.E Rutto simply as Finnish punk that sounds like they cant play their instruments. We each bought a copy immediately!
In fairness, most of my film writing this year was about movies that were already released, or underseen, or that you might have somehow missed. If I’m honest I prefer writing about movies I love, that I can recommend enthusiastically, rather than new releases.
So I haven’t yet gotten to see X, Nope, Avatar: The Way of Water, Banshees of Inisherin or Triangle of Sadness (the latter two have only just been released in Australia), all of which I suspect may have dented my Top Ten. What I have instead is a Top Ten of 2022 movies where the last couple might well get bumped once I catch up with all my 2022 viewing admin.
I’ve also got a bumper crop of first time watches, for older films I discovered, and loved. As well as the traditional ‘worst of’ list for movies I would very much like my time, money and effort back for, please.
Top Movies of 2022
1. Prey
Initial worries that Ye Olde Predytore might be a bit gimmicky were immediately dispelled, as Prey quickly establishes itself as the best Predator movie since Arnie wisecracked around the jungle in ‘87.
2. Everything Everywhere All At Once
EEAaO is overflowing with vivid imagination, oddball humour, big ideas and bigger feelings. It’s weird, funny and above all else original. Michelle Yeoh can do no wrong in my eyes and the return of Ke Huy Quan to cinema screens is very welcome. A genuinely wild ride.
3. Barbarian
A tense Air BnB nightmare that made me feel genuinely uncomfortable in the cinema. Full disclosure, I was already feeling a bit ill at the time, but let’s give Barbarian the benefit of the doubt. It does a lot with a simple concept, and the things it doesn’t show us generate the biggest heebie jeebies. The first half is almost flawless.
4. Resurrection
Andrew Semans’ dark thriller shifts gears somewhere along the line into outright horror, but not before dragging us under the surface into the depths of grief, trauma and psychological control. Rebecca Hall is phenomenal.
5. Apollo 10 ½
Richard Linklater was back playing with rotoscope for an animated childhood memoir that combines nostalgia and exaggeration to perfect effect. It crept out on Netflix in the middle of the year without really setting the world alight, but I didn’t see much better, and nor was anything more ‘feelgood’ in 2022.
6. Bullet Train
Extremely fun Shinkansen violence caper. Great cast, simple plot, Cockney Rejects on the soundtrack. What more do you want, mate?
7. Language Lessons
Natalie Morales’ directorial debut, taking place almost entirely over Zoom as the pandemic was in full swing during filming. The story of two people learning from each other, trusting and supporting each other, becoming friends. Both Morales and Mark Duplass are fantastic and it feels real and never saccharine. Technically a 2021 release, it barely saw the light of day in Australia until showing up on Kanopy earlier this month. Which is a real shame, so I’m including it regardless.
8. Tony Hawk: Until the Wheels Fall Off
Documentaries on people with exceptional talent will always be fascinating and Tony Hawk’s story is no different. It’s careful not to paint him as flawless, acknowledging his failings, but also showing off what raw ability and dedicated, tunnel-vision perfectionism can achieve.
9. The Northman
Robert Eggers epic Norse yarn of vengeance and chronic procrastination might not’ve been as wild as the trailer led me to believe, but it was still a weird and visually pleasing tale of Norse aggro and awkward family dynamics.
10. The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent
A light, fun adventure that sneaks into the top ten on the strength of the Cage / Pascal chemistry at its centre. However, I maintain that MY idea for a weird-meta-Nic-Cage-movie that I came up with in 2019 (and tweeted about extensively), is better, to wit:
The true story of the theft of Nicolas Cage’s Action Comics #1. Every character is played by Cage EXCEPT Nicolas Cage, who is played by Tilda Swinton. Also Superman talks directly to Cage in dreams, co-ordinating his career and there is friction between the two because Cage blames him for The Wicker Man remake.
Favourite First Time Watches 2022
Live Wire (1992)
Thanks to a random GIF on Twitter I discovered that Live Wire is one of the greatest action thrillers of the 90s, possibly of all time. Terrorists devise a liquid explosive that activates inside the human body and it’s up to Pierce Brosnan’s cocky bomb disposal cop, who plays by his own rules (of course), to stop them. There’s an extremely overwrought death scene, an absurd, sentient bomb robot and Brosnan fights an exploding clown… in a wheelchair. It’s magnificent stupidity, the towering high point of Brosnan’s career and I loved every single idiotic second of it.
Freeway (1996)
How did so many big names agree to make something so sleazy and how did it fly under my radar for twenty five years? Freeway is dark and seedy and utterly deranged. You’ll need a shower if you come within ten feet of it. A lurid, trash masterpiece.
Lapsis (2020)
Unique and thoroughly compelling anti-capitalist / job-hell sci-fi. Lapsis throws its tech into a world not otherwise more advanced than ours, making for some sharp, unassuming and thoughtful indie science fiction.
Miami Connection (1987)
Miami Connection is a movie that spends 99% of its run time beating the crap out of ninjas, with the remaining 1% spent singing songs about beating the crap out of ninjas. It’s a sublime blend of low budget action, ninja movie staples and enjoyable blood and guts. Go ahead and laugh AT it if you must, but I’m here laughing WITH it. Miami Connection’s big, earnest heart and over the top thrills make it completely impossible to dislike. Plus, I am utterly obsessed with the soundtrack.
The Dawn Wall (2017)
Another documentary about an incredible talent. Tommy Caldwell’s life story could be a Hollywood movie, except you’d dismiss it for being too far fetched! Jaw dropping and hugely enjoyable.
Minari (2020)
Steven Yeun is a brilliant actor and I was completely absorbed by Minari which is, at times, utterly lovely; and at others it made me want to fucking weep. A fantastic film.
Timecop (1994)
Somehow I had never seen Timecop. For nearly thirty years it evaded me and I was going about my day to day business, blissfully unaware of how awesome it is. Van Damme + time travel = a good, good time.
Miracle Mile (1988)
Surprisingly dark race against time thriller, starring the criminally underrated Anthony Edwards. Miracle Mile warps from romantic comedy into nuclear fear / societal breakdown terror in the blink of an eye, as the patrons of an all night diner get an early heads up on the forthcoming apocalypse, thanks to wrong number.
My Neighbor Totoro (1988)
Finally got to watching this Miyazaki classic when I was isolating with Covid earlier in the year and, what a surprise, it charmed the pants off me. Iconic characters, wonderful animation and a delightfully feelgood story. It’s not at all hard to see why so many people have taken this movie to their hearts.
Judas and the Black Messiah (2021)
An incendiary biopic of Black Panther, Fred Hampton, which is depressingly unjust and, sadly, still hugely relevant. Brilliantly acted with a fantastic performance from Daniel Kaluuya.
The Shit Worst
