The premise is thus: Lance Henricksen runs an Nth-degree-evil corporate events management company, where rich bastards pay him some fat wedge to safari hunt homeless people in New Orleans. With some cops on the payroll and Joe & Jane public's casual ambivalence to the plight of the homeless - even when they are being big-game hunted through a pedestrian arcade - they've got a pretty cushy number going for them. Things start to unravel, however, when they inadvertently kill a man who still has a family (a fact not picked up on by their screening process). The man's daughter (Yancy Butler) comes looking for him, enlisting the help of down-on-his-luck ex-army guy Chance Boudreaux (Jean-Claude Van Damme) when she runs into nothing but dead ends at the cop shop and city hall. Together, they set out to uncover the mystery of her father's death.
Hard Target has got an astonishingly mullet-permed Van Damme, looking like a cross between Billy Ray Cyrus and Deidre Barlow, sprinkling his dialogue with Cajun spice (i.e. a weird accent) and uber-creepy references to finding Yancy Butler’s “Daddy”. He is one heck of an oddbod as the hero, but don’t get me wrong, Van Damme is completely badass in this.
We have Lance Henricksen as the villain, chewing the scenery and stalking the indigent with an absurdly impractical antique gun he can only reload one shot at a time, while Arnold Vosloo (of The Mummy and the Darkman-sequels 'fame') menaces all as his cue ball-headed henchman.
We have Wilford Brimley as a mega-stereotypical crazy old coot living out in the Bayou backwaters brewing moonshine, and of course, this being a John Woo picture, it's got more slo-mo, motorbikes, fluttering birds and Uzi's than could be ever be imagined by a normal human mind.
Although Van Damme's fans are legion, and often point to his skill and martial arts prowess as being peerless amongst the action heroes of the '80s and '90s, for my money his obvious technical ability was just never a match for the comedic, brute thuggery of Arnie or Sly in their prime. But in Hard Target’s Chance Boudreaux, the stoic brow-beaten hero, plays perfectly to Van Damme’s strengths as a quietly composed nut job, kicking gumbo-flavoured ass in a Canadian tuxedo and Timberlands.
This leads us on very nicely to one of the greatest sequences in all of cinema history. Now, the scholars amongst you might well stand before the jury and present a well-reasoned case for Bogart and Bergman at the end of Casablanca being the best. You might choose to sit yourself down and eulogise the cockle-warming ending of It's A Wonderful Life. Or you might even want to stand up and salute the virtues of Citizen Kane's famous Rosebud enigma. But before we go any further, let me ask you this: do any of those movies feature Jean-Claude Van Damme knocking a rattlesnake unconscious with one punch, biting off its 'rattle' with his teeth and then hanging it in a tree so it can silently attack a baddie later on? The only movie that can answer 'yes' to that question is Hard Target, and that is precisely why it is awesome.
Insanely, the internet abounds with rumour concerning various alternate cuts of the movie. From a supposed extended laser disc version through to an ultra violent, director’s cut work print with a whopping 20 extra minutes. Whatever the reality, the fact remains that even in its theatrical incarnation, Hard Target is a rare gem of an action movie. Over the top and a bit silly, but at the same time huge amounts of fun and massively entertaining.
In fact, I love this movie so much I feel like I should start a crowdfundung campaign to allow me to write and co-direct Hard Target 2. Of course, I’d only do it with the proviso that I could get Van Damme and Woo on board and cast Jason Statham as Van Damme’s ass kicking Cajun cousin.
Hard Target is the God of underrated 90s action. Go forth and spread the gospel.
IMDB: Hard Target
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