PLANET OF THE APES

Planet of the Apes
A group of astronauts awakes from cryogenic sleep to discover they have crash landed on a barren and primitive world. They soon discover that apes are the dominant species and that mankind is little more than a collection of brute animals. This classic that kicked everything all off still holds up marvellously, but what is there to say that has not been said before? Fantastic ape effects, masses of quotable dialogue, Charlton Heston at the height of his powers, and THAT ending. They call these things ‘classic’ for good reason you know.

IMDB: Planet of the Apes


Beneath the Planet of the Apes
Second time around, Brent, an astronaut on a search for the missing Taylor (Charlton Heston), crash lands on the Planet of the Apes in much the same way as the team from the first movie did. He befriends Nova (Heston’s squeeze from the first flick), Cornelius and Zira and they head off into the Forbidden Zone in search of Taylor; only to encounter a mutant horde of superhumans, disfigured and bestowed with mind control which they use in the pursuit of the worship of their God – a gold plated atom bomb! The law of diminishing returns applies to a small degree, but they still don’t make bonkers sci-fi like this anymore, and its misanthropic dénouement continues the highly entertaining franchise theme of bowing out on a total bummer, man.  It’s a wild ride.

IMDB: Beneath the Planet of the Apes


Escape from the Planet of the Apes
Starts off very lightly as three ‘Apenaughts’ travel back in time to 1970s Los Angeles and comedy ensues as cultures clash and they adapt to the 20th century lifestyle. Then about three quarters of the way through it suddenly goes a bit dark. And by ‘a bit dark’ I mean completely off its rocker dark. If Takashi Miike made a Planet of the Apes movie it would have to be this one. In the same way that Audition starts off all pleasant and nice and then suddenly right angles its plot and heads off relentlessly into the forbidding darkness never to return, so too does Escape From the Planet of the Apes.  For the sake of full disclosure, there are a few big plot holes to ponder on, but it changes tack so brutally from the lighthearted to the beserk, I can’t help but love it and its remorselessly bleak conclusion. This one is an absolute cracker and a total ‘must see’.

IMDB: Escape from the Planet of the Apes


Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Earth’s cats and dogs have all been killed off by a mystery plague from outer space and so the many varieties of ape have taken their place, not only as pets but as servants in mankind’s Orwellian 1991 society. Caesar, the intelligent time paradox progeny of Cornelius and Zira, becomes the catalyst for the ape revolution. The quality finally starts to dip with this entry in the series, as the mythos of the Ape uprising is brought to the screen. However it is still a watchable 90 minutes and worth your time alone for the assured, suave charm of Ricardo Montalban, as Ceasar’s friend and father figure Armando. It is also notable for being the source of the sample at the beginning of Crossed Out’s Vacuum. A question which had bugged me for years.

IMDB: Conquest of the Planet of the Apes


Battle for the Planet of the Apes
By now the series is struggling somewhat, and Battle… is by far the weakest link the in the original set of films, dealing with the conflict between Caesar’s apes and the mutant subterranean humans. It is of interest only the context of giving closure to the original series and for featuring an appearance from Assault on Precinct 13’s Austin Stoker. It’s going to be nobody’s favourite and is a long, long way from the masterful original and its loopy sequels.  It’s most definitely unessential, but if you’ve had the inclination to watch all the others thus far (and quite frankly, why WOULDN’T you?) it provides a certain element of tidiness to the story arc.

IMDB: Battle for the Planet of the Apes


Planet of the Apes (remake)
Upon its release the critics were not kind to Tim Burton’s confused Planet of the apes reboot, and time has been even less kind to this jumbled mess of a blockbuster. A plot that makes little sense, and THAT inexplicable ending make this the worst of the Apes movies by quite a considerable margin. Before Paul Giamatti started to get decent jobs to show off his acting chops, he had to slum it in nonsense like this. It’s so bad in fact, that I would almost say Mark Wahlberg is slumming it too, were it not for the fact he was in Ted (a movie so appalling on just about every conceivable level it makes this Apes reboot look like the Seventh Seal). Add to this the fact Apes is overlong and punctuated by some pretty cruddy acting, there is virtually nothing at all to recommend about this movie. Avoid at all costs. You cannot get that two hours of your life back.

IMDB: Planet of the Apes


Rise of the Planet of the Apes

The modern day re-entry to the series, rebooting the origin of Caesar and the intelligent ape uprising. James Franco plays scientist Will Rodman who is working for a cure against Alzheimer’s and other degenerative diseases. After an incident that causes Will’s experiments to be shut down, he saves the young, intelligent Ceasar from euthanasia and takes him home. Ceasar lives with Will and his ailing father (the always excellent John Lithgow), as Will continues his experiments through his determination to cure his father’s illness.  This is really a rather great new entry to the Apes canon, despite the fact it basically re-writes things from the end of ‘Escape’ and ‘Conquest’ onwards. Events are teed up rather nicely for further Ape-ventures, and Rise features some great effects and excellent set-pieces. The Golden Gate Bridge battle is a particular highlight. Going into this without much in the way of high expectations, it turned out to be very enjoyable a great surprise all round.

IMDB: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

HER

I went into this movie knowing little to nothing about it and was very pleasantly surprised by Spike Jonze’s comedic, existential sc-fi romance drama (!). Never one to shy away from the offbeat or the weird, courtesy of his track record of collaborations with Charlie Kauffman, this was written and directed by Jonze and sees heartbroken writer Theodore Twombly (Joaquin Phoenix) falling in love with Samantha (Scarlett Johansson), the self aware operating system for his computer.

Set in the near future, categorised by some believable but futuristic tech, and society’s sartorial preference for very high waisted trousers, HER delivers some profundity, amusement and just the right amount of pretension (lightly flavoured, rather than over seasoned) to make for a really interesting and different take on a conventional romance picture.

As a piece of cinema it LOOKS fantastic. Subtle effects illustrating the scope of the future cities or the modern day technology of the time.  The performances are key to this working also. Joaquin Phoenix is reliably great. Scarlett Johansson is perhaps a little too recognisable, but since her entire part in this is as a disembodied voice, it’s also a great performance. Smaller parts are filled out with actors of quality – from Amy Adams through to Olivia Wilde to Chris Pratt (Andy from Parks & Recreation).

There are times where the movie dallies with the absurd, and there was some uncomfortable laughter from certain corners of the cinema, but if you can get on board with this and buy it as a concept, the reward is thoroughly enjoyable.

IMDB: Her

KILLING THEM SOFTLY

Killing Them Softly is director Andrew Dominik’s third film in twelve years. Racing out the blocks with Chopper in 2000 followed by The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford in 2007, Killing Them Softly marks the third installment of a directorial career that is firmly in the quality over quantity camp. But what quality it is!

Killing them Softly is excellent. Focusing variously, on the three culprits behind an armed raid on a mafia card game, and the mob enforcer employed to sort the mess out. All set against the backdrop and compared/contrasted to the onset of the global financial crisis and Obama’s hopeful electoral messages. The robbers are a jailbird chancer (Scoot McNairy) and his junkie mate, played with a constantly sweaty, grimy intensity by the fantastic Ben Mendelsohn.  The card game is ruled by a dithering, unseen committee of mobsters who communicate through a mild mannered conduit in the form of the ever great Richard Jenkins.  Brad Pitt is always good value, and impresses once again in the role of enforcer Jackie Cogan, adding yet more quality to his CV. The cast is otherwise filled out with impeccable genre stalwarts like Ray Liotta and James Gandolfini, and Sopranos fans will be further enamoured by the presence and performance of Vincent Curatola a.k.a. Johnny Sac.

The violence is brutal. Flaps of skin blow off the top of a character’s head when he is shot, and dollops of blood leap everywhere. There is a crunching, rain drenched beating scene, exacerbated by a realistic, unsettling soundtrack; and as the noise of knuckles cracking on nose cartilage reaches you it makes you feel like you are present, and perhaps even on the wrong end of some of those punches.

There is also a stunning shooting scene wherein I don't think I've ever seen anybody get shot in the face look more beautiful! ‘Killing Them Softly’ is Jackie Cogan’s preferred method of dispatch. Offing his quarry from afar in order to avoid any unpleasant ‘touchy feely’ emotions. It is also the deft measure of this gracefully visceral assassination, with all of it’s hypnotising slow motion and sickening violence.

Killing Them Softly reminded me very much of a Coen Brothers movie with less overt dark humour (although there were still blackly comic moments), as you get duped into thinking incidental characters and plot threads will end up leading to integral places, and they don't. Finally it wraps up with one of the best ending/payoff lines that I can remember hearing in recent cinema. The more I think about this film, the more I like it and that is always the sign of a great movie. Highly recommended.

IMDB: Killing Them Softly

BERBERIAN SOUND STUDIO (M.I.F.F.)

The resolutely excellent Toby Jones stars as Gilderoy, a British film sound man in the 1970's, hired out of his comfort zone of wildlife documentaries to work on an Italian Giallo. Despite some early promise and a nice tip of the hat to Argento on more than one occasion - black gloved POV shots of sound dials being turned, a Goblin character, and the horror movie's plot centering on witches in a horse academy - it tailed off into massive self indulgence and incomprehension. In fact I really don't know what the bloody hell was going on for the entire second half of the film, and ultimately it degenerated into an irritating mess, which was disappointing as I had earmarked it as one of the more interesting sounding movies (no pun intended) from the get go! A highly appealing idea reduced to an inexplicably confusing muddle. Not good at all.

M.I.F.F. Rating 1 out of 5.

IMDB: Berberian Sound Studio

RAMPART (M.I.F.F.)

Woody Harrelson stars as Dave Brown, an LA cop spiralling further and further out of control, as corruption and alcohol abuse erode his life away. Faced with departmental suspension after being caught on camera beating a suspect, Dave tries to juggle his work problems alongside his bizarre home life (living with two ex-girlfriends with whom he has children).On top of all this he takes a decidedly vague approach to what constitutes policework and finds himself getting mired in a situation he is unable to extricate himself from. It has a fantastic cast with even the smallest part filled out by an actor of high quality.  Amongst others it features Sigourney Weaver, Ned Beatty, Steve Buscemi, Ice Cube and Tim Russ (Tuvok from Star Trek Voyager!). But the main draw for me was that it was co-written by the utterly peerless James Ellroy, of whom I am a massive fan. His Underworld U.S.A. trilogy is jaw droppingly stunning, and as a crime author he holds his head high amongst the giants of the genre. Therefore I was very excited to see how his work on this film would turn out, and I was largely impressed. Dave Brown is a typically conflicted Ellroy character; there are no ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’ in his books -  just people lurking in varying degrees of shadow, and Harrelson is incredible in the role. There are definitely sections in here that feel like they could have come from one of Ellroy’s novels, but unlike his briskly plotted prose, the movie takes a more laidback approach to getting to where it needs to be. Nevertheless, it is a gripping study of one man’s life pouring into the toilet.

M.I.F.F. Rating 4 out of 5.

IMDB: Rampart

THE ANGEL'S SHARE (M.I.F.F.)

Excellent comedy/drama from Ken Loach as we follow the fortunes of young Dad-to-be Robbie (Paul Brannigan), who having narrowly escaped jail finds himself serving a community service order as a result of not only a murkily violent past, but an inescapable cycle of intergenerational violence with a local family. Robbie is befriended by the community service organiser, Harry (John Henshaw) and together they bond over an unlikely common interest: whisky.

As Robbie struggles to make a new life for himself with his girlfriend and new baby, he does find camaraderie with the new friends he made on his community service. When news filters through that an extremely rare barrel of whisky worth 1 million pounds, is going on sale in the North of Scotland, Robbie and his friends plan an elaborate heist; seeing it as an opportunity to finally make something of themselves and escape to something better.

The Angel's Share is absolutely fantastic. Massively funny and hugely enjoyable. Despite some dark corners, and aspects of Robbie's character that are extremely unlikeable, you're rooting for something good to happen to these misfits. It manages to make Robbie sympathetic and the film as a whole is totally rather heartwarming. Highly recommended.

M.I.F.F. Rating 5 out of 5.

IMDB: The Angel's Share

SIGHTSEERS (M.I.F.F.)

Highly enjoyable third film from Ben Wheatley, the director of Down Terrace and Kill List. A pitch black, hugely violent comedy about a couple on a caravanning holiday, whose journey around the North of England quickly descends into a kill crazy rampage (if you can have a kill crazy rampage when you're visiting cathedrals and pencil museums). Much like Kill List it was more of the same contrast between mundane everyday Middle England-isms and sudden bouts of ultraviolence, that give the most surprises. But it was also bleakly very funny and tonally a bit of a headscratcher. Again, like Kill List if you stop and think about it all, it comes apart very easily (particularly in terms of character logic etc) but you really don't stop to overanalyse it because the ride is so much ruddy fun. As blackly comic as it's possible to get. Well worth a watch.

M.I.F.F. Rating 4 out of 5.

IMDB: Sightseers